CAN YOU READ THIS?

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now, close your eyes about 80%... and you can see it!

wat has changed?

since joining the army 2 months ago,
there are certain changes in my life.
and there are somethings tat has remain the same.

Wat has changed?
-tougher and fitter.
-lesser entertainment and privilege
-only 6 hours of slp
-low income
-read a book

Wat hasn't changed?
-discipline.
-my annoying ex-gf still bothers me.
-my friends around me
-drinking habits

POP!!

finally.. i'm free.
free from recruit life.
free for 9 days.
i deserve all these.
much is to be expected when i'm back at camp next monday.
MOST likely to be posted to RECCE.(or rather SCOUT)
it's very tough, it's very demanding.
but i like challenges.
10 weeks of hell.
i want my jungle hat and black beret.
i'm looking to tat reward.

armour?

hi everyone. u guys having fun at the hotel tonite and i won't be there becos xing's getting confined again. sucks! life in armour is still very shitty. they say we do things wif pride, the black beret, pple lookin at u, our standards being on par wif the commandos. but why must i go thru all these? why is BMT in tekong so slack? there's nothing called fairness in their dictionary.
endure for 2 weeks and it's POP.
i ain't a recruit anymore.

i miss drinking.
i miss food outside.
i miss hanging out wif friends till late.
i miss watching and playing soccer.
i miss watching movies.
i miss being a civilian.

and as for brian, i don't understand what problems u're going thru rite now
but i'm here to hear u out.
maybe i could help.

I am ghost..

Day in Day out...
people see what they wanna see..
hear what they wanna hear..
Do what they wanna do..
but hardly anyone says what they really wanna say.

I glide around the corridoors.. hearing people mumbling..
and when they're asked to repeat? they say.. "nothing"..
whast the use of being there... whats the use of hanging around..
when your pressence mean so little to everyone else..
no one listens when you talk.. no one talks much to you..

Wallowing in their own world shutting everyone out.
When crunch time arrives.. people huddle together in physical comfort..
meantally? emotionally? no one really knows what goes on...
because of all our inability to express ourselves...
our inability to even open up to the simple people in life we call friends...
The people whom you think are shutting you out...
maybe when it's actually vice versa..

who am I to say...
I have difficulties expressing my thoughts all the time
with a fear of being judged. sometimes being laughed at.
maybe this is how it works in my mind..
maybe i am conditioned to be the one giving..
and never taking.. it's tiring...
but I also know... I am not the only one who feels that way.
no shite right?

who i am

now i understand who i really am.. pls.. dont try to spite me.. bub smells funny.. is my own.. it is what i own.. dont u dare try to understand wat it means.. because my so called close friends you are all.. trying to understand what u shouldnt.. i am a lost soul that should not be found.. i thought i was my brother.. but i am not.. i am myself something that is as low as dirt... stepped on.. to clean ur shoes i am a door mat.. i have been cheated.. i am a clown.. to make u all happy.. i understand this now.. dont try to make me change it.. i guesss the way in life is the oldest holds a key understanding that the oldest holds it and the youngest gets stepped on.. soo.. pls dont call me.. or try to contacted me.. i dont want to speak to anyone.. i'm all alone is the world called home.. my parents are the only one that comfort me in all the troubles although in the past they have not.. u neglect to understand that i am a human being i do feel .. i do taste , hear and see.. i do have a heart i do go out of my way to promise a hope for u ungratful shyts taht i would make u happy but u treat me like a clown and for that for u i am one.. but for others.. i am brian! so go to hell i dont want to see or hear from u guys ever again..

chivasxomartellbeer

Been drinking non stop for about 2 weeks now.. EVERY SINGLE DAY.....
maybe sometimes... staying high is staying alive..
being sober.. you realize.. the world isn't half as happy as it is..

maybe i should start drinking again... like now? haha..

anyway it's been one hellova great time...

love-k

This is it?

why have a girl friend.. dats takes wat u say lightly... doesnt care if u call.. doesnt message u.. doesnt make an effort to make convo or even hear ur voice.. i am not too sure.. why.. Arghh.. i'm starting to think my life is actually going down the shitter with everyone else around me.. this is sooo not me.. wait it is.. i am not sure.. is this really.. how it is surpose to be? i dont know .. why dont u tell me! explain to me in a million and one.. word essay.. include a intro / body and conlcusion.. and u might get a prize of a big FUK U! hahaha.. watever.. CLICK BOOM>>>>> DEAD wat ever...

school starts today (which i only found out 2 days ago).

which therefore sucks ):

Friday 13th Madness..

Friday 13th BBQ at Brian's... Was Wet fun Drunk!!
Too bad Xing had to miss it due to enlistment.. hope he's having a better time now! =)

Looking fwd for more FUN!!


love-K